How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
