Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
