Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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