ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
even my farts smell like vagina
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
