thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
