just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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