thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
