she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
