You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
