I will die if light touches me.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
