is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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