They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Randomize
