she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You pole danced in your parka.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
