no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
porn star boner night. come get it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
