saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
