he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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