Umm I'm too high to move.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
