like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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