i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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