Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
