It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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