mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
