Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
