sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
