He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
