it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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