no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
