I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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