I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
