And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
