Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
