I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
