I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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