I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
