She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
