I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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