I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
