and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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