after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
