He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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