My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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