he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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