We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
