You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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