Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
