please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
