I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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