That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
high people should be assigned attendants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
