Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
