so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently you make a good broom.
my phone needs a breathalizer
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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